5 Reasons to banish 
comparisonitus

We all do it. Whether it is in our relationships, at work or as a parent, we look at others and think they're living a more successful life. Not only is it not true but there are very important reasons why you need to nip this nasty habit in the bud. Here are 5 reasons why.


1 - Comparisonitus is not a fair fight

While you're admiring another friend's dazzling career, pristine house or dutiful children, remember you don't have all the facts. You have absolutely no idea what their reality is and while we are not wishing another person's life be that of the proverbial Swan, graceful on the surface and paddling like mad underwater, we do need to remember that the performance is not the truth. While we're gazing up at their castle, telling ourselves stories about their easier life, they’re likely doing the same looking out to the wider world. More often than not, you don't have the evidence to reasonably conclude you're worse off.


2 - You’re limiting your potential

Spending your time fantasising about how good everyone else has it, is only creating an unrealistic vision of how you think your future “should” look. More often than not when we compare ourselves and find ourselves lacking, we’re left in a state of inaction fuelled by procrastination. Comparing yourself to others is sometimes a convenient distraction from making a change. If comparing yourself to someone else gives you the kick up the backside you need to make a change, fantastic! However, ask yourself if it’s the experience you think they’re enjoying that you actually crave - for example do you believe they have more fulfilment, security, or excitement in their life?


3 - Your success is your success

Which leads us onto this... success is not a one-size-fits-all sort of thing. Your success will look very different from someone else's. You may have found yourself in the past working really hard to achieve a goal, only to get there and feel unfulfilled; you may have even felt resentful. If you find yourself aspiring to be like another woman, see if you can break down what it is exactly that you would like for yourself. What does your version of this success look like? What does it feel like? Once you have identified this, you can then take purposeful steps towards this change.


4 - Comparison is just fear

What are you actually afraid of? Perhaps it’s what people will say or think about you? Comparisonitus is actually your inner critic popping their head up - I like to think of mine as an ancient and eccentric great aunt! They only want the best for you but keeps you playing small and not taking risks. One way to silence this voice (or at least turn the volume down) is by taking ownership of your confidence rather than waiting for others to fill you up.  At the end of every day celebrate your successes, however small. Think micro-wins and see how many you can count. I bet you can count at least 5!


5 - There's only one of you

You are not a cheap imitation of another. You are an original and another person's brilliance does not diminish yours. In the competitive workplace it can feel like the accomplishments of other successful people distracts from your own, but you can celebrate another's achievements whilst holding your head high. Comparison saps your awesomeness; if you can cultivate confidence in your own badassery, you can boldly bring your strengths to the table and foster alliances. You need to do you and that means living bravely and courageously loving yourself.